e-mail from 1992 from Bill Bamert announcing the “Sad” death of 
“Richard Cuke”

Everyone,

First of all, I'll apologize now about typos and other mistakes that will
probably fill this message, but I'm having a hard time right now - the tears are
making it hard for me to see.

I don't know how else to say this, because there's no way to sugar coat this
news.  Tragedy has struck.  Sometime between Saturday afternoon around 5:00 and
Sunday around noon,  Granny and Jethro, of the Beverly Cucumbers, had their
precious little heads brutally smashed, and their bodies put in a plastic bag to
rot.  Easing my heart is the deep and profound believe that they are in a better
place right now - at that great big All-You-Can-Eat Salad Bar in the sky.

I have to believe that our own Coveted Cucumber Award, Richard Cuke, witnessed
this whole brutal scene, because he is in the state of shock and his condition
is deteriorating to the point that he will probably never be awarded again.  In
the words of Fred Mabe "He stinketh!".  I will see that one last picture is
taken of him to preserve him forever in our memories, and then I will put him to
rest someplace to help insure that he is NOT preserved forever in our noses.

Richard Cuke will be cremated and then his remains will be deposited somewhere
in a respectul manner.  You will all be invited to this ceremony.  We will need
to decide the time and place for this, and then determine what to do with his
earthly possesions.

I promise you that the perpitrator(s) of this unspeakable crime against the
Beverly Cucumbers will be found and brought to justice.

I just hope we can all get over the mourning, and all make it through the
process of healing, and be able to look at a Sweet and Sour Dill Slice without
going to pieces.

--Bill